Don’t get me wrong, Beifong, I can handle a bit of roughness, but honestly, I prefer my lovers be gentle with me…otherwise things tend to get out of hand rather quickly. To state it in words an official of your…high caliber would understand- I would break you. But thank you for the compliment, dear woman, and may I compliment you on the DSL? I couldn’t help but notice them when you were on your knees in front of me, having your bending ripped from your pathetic human container. I do believe you have the avatar to thank for returning it? Perhaps you should try being nicer to her.

I am quite confident that your pretty little hands would be unable to touch me, Chief Beifong…unless you decided to be a bit more gentle. Or perhaps I could convince you?

I can teach you some pretty words to dirty your own mouth, Chief…

Hello Cheif Beifong. That angry/constipated look on your face is quite…lovely. Don’t worry, I have no intention of hurting Korra…I will take good care of her, don’t you worry. I certainly won’t hurt anyone who doesn’t ask for it first. Except Turdlok.

hello, young Avatar. I apologize for my one-day absence from tumblr. Patience is a virtue that you lack apparently. I apologize for my brother’s behavior once more. Don’t worry- he will get what’s coming to him soon enough. I will fill the halls of his beloved cabin with his screams of agony. But do not fret, for he has a good heart somewhere under all that absurd hair. I have yet to find it but I was thinking of cutting him open with bloodbending next week. Care to join me?

I used to dive into ice-cold lakes and catch fish in my teeth, of course I smelled like fish you dumbfuck. Don’t you have invitations to the rape cabin to be handing out?

Just like the good old days when you accidentally blew up our wolfcat? Or like the good old days when we played ‘hide the sausage’ and I never found yours. I am still adamantly in denial that you even have one.